turn right, right into my arms.
smile because it will make your day MUCH better.
and you know you love me.
Monday, August 31, 2009
i am sinking right to the bottom of the deep blue sea.
sometimes when you thought you had hit
the rock bottom of life,
things just gets worse.
my 17th year on this place seems the hardest to get by.
i realised it is pretty hard to act that you are okay,
because things are not okay these days.
and i really missed smiling and laughing,
because it has been a long long time
since i smiled or laughed because i want to.
shall post pictures tomorrow.
and need to find more info for WR!
where can i find them? D:
Monday, August 24, 2009pick up all your tears,
throw them in the back seat.
frankly easier say then done.
it is so hard to move on bravely,
with your head held up high.
every morning from the moment i open my eyes,
i look forward to the end of school.
seriously fucked-up class.
and the friends i have in there,
i guess they simply dont understand me,
and sometimes i get the feeling that
maybe not being there at all,
would make them happier and more comfortable.
i never liked putting on a mask and getting on with life,
but all this seems pretty inevitable now.
sometimes the mask slips off,
and i can tell people around me dislikes
what is going on behind it.
i guess that how you differentiate a fair-weathered friends from the rest.
they say, "two's company, three's a crowd"
perhaps it is time to walk away
and take a breather.
Sunday, August 23, 2009TODAY, my best friends
megan, sheena and gina
gave me a surprise visit at my house,
just to cheer me up
and tell me that i am not alone.
THEIR FRIENDSHIP gmh. :D
i love you alll to bits and pieces.
and i cant wipe off the smile i am having on my face now,
while typing this. :D
and thanks mummy, daddy and janan
for letting me know
how much you guys love me
no matter how bad things may be.
i am going to move on
and try to pick myself up.
because failures make us stronger,
and i know i am going to be much stronger this time.
Saturday, August 22, 2009Today is my birthday.
A couple months ago I was attacked by a dog that
left horrendous scars on my face.
My boyfriend made a book that says
"You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen"
in over 100 different languages. GMH
i am speechless. :O
thing i ever done.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
You’re driving all your friends out
You just be, you cannot follow
Soon you will be on your own
Somehow I'm to blame
For this never-ending racetrack you call life
have you ever felt that you put in your every best,
but reap nothing at the end of it?
have you ever felt being put down once after once?
have you ever felt that no one around you really understands
what you are going through?
have you ever felt the pain of losing two of your best friends in a year?
have you ever felt the anguish of trying to work things out,
but things just become even worse at the end of the day?
lastly, have you ever felt that a complete failure in life?
i never felt this way before, until yesterday.
in the past, no matter how bad things were,
i was sure i could pick myself up eventually.
but this time, i fell too hard.
i havent got over issues dated a few weeks ago,
and all this had to happen.
i tried to be strong and face everything at once,
but i just couldn't.
i have hit the pit bottom of one's life,
and i can't seem to get out of it.
everything that used to mean so much to me,
are pulled away one by one.
when i tried chasing them back,
another one would slip through my fingers.
it seems that i am alone in the battle.
what was never meant to be yours,
you will never get it, no matter how hard you try.
just like i wasn't suppose to be in volleyball,
but i went against fate and try to change it.
i wanted to show everyone and myself
i can be good at sports too.
but i guess we can't defy our fate.
actually i have rehersed the scene a million times in my head
and told myself to not have expectations,
but the amount of pain did not lessen.
i can't even tell my friend that
i was happy for her, because i didnt feel that way in me.
it disgust me that i was such a person.
just when i feel that i like the sport volleyball,
like the people in volleyball,
made people think that i can play a sport,
instead of only studying,
everything was taken away from me.
and to the person i care most in the entire world,
i dont know what has happened.
your aloof attitude have caused me to lose faith.
i dont know why you can treat other people so nicely,
and treat me the exact opposite way.
the change in you, made you a complete stranger to me.
i tried to make things work, but things seemed to be worse.
i miss you, but i was refering to the guy
that was my bestest friend in sec4.
thus ruining my own life with my bare hands.
now i am really one my own.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
i feel damn scammed now,
because i THOUGHT MUMMY WAS GOING TO BUY ME A NEW DICKIES BAGPACK.
anyway i have loads of pictures yet to upload. D:
Saturday, August 15, 2009been really busy recently,
with all the tests, homework, project work and cca!
and 24 hours just doesnt seem enough anymore D:
promos are coming real soon,
and everybody seems to be on gear 5 already,
trying to cram as much info and knowledge into our brains.
anyway life hasnt been that good recently,
but i guess things are beginning to pick up,
especially when i learn how to pioritize,
what to focus and what to ignore.
anyway loads of overdue pictures! :D
but i am lazy to upload everything
so i will just make do with a few! :D
i really hate my long bangs. D:
MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE IN CLASS! :D
so many things to do, so little time.
jc life sucks mannnnzxzxzxzxz. D:
Sunday, August 9, 2009things are no longer going to be the same,
starting from tuesday. at least i know,
i am going to see and treat people differently.
i thought everyone was a friend and were okay with us,
but i guess i was damn wrong.
now i dont want to trust anyone anymore,
at least this is true for the people in my class.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
one thing i realised today about JC people,
is that they can be really complicated and unpredictable.
even to those whom i thought were friends.
i don't know what's wrong with
i just know that in a week, things have changed alot.
i saw who are the people who leave you when you are down,
and some who will never be tired of hearing me
grumbling about the same things over and over again.
and so, friends are not the top of the list anymore,
piorities are re-shuffled and i felt that i was wrong about some people.
if i had such a mindset on monday night,
will things still be different?
it is funny how life makes you go round and round,
and you eventually end up at where you started.
it has been a long time since i laughed like i used to,
even sheena feels the same way.
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