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turn right, right into my arms.
smile because it will make your day MUCH better.
and you know you love me.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
You’re driving all your friends out
You just be, you cannot follow
Soon you will be on your own
Somehow I'm to blame
For this never-ending racetrack you call life
have you ever felt that you put in your every best,
but reap nothing at the end of it?
have you ever felt being put down once after once?
have you ever felt that no one around you really understands
what you are going through?
have you ever felt the pain of losing two of your best friends in a year?
have you ever felt the anguish of trying to work things out,
but things just become even worse at the end of the day?
lastly, have you ever felt that a complete failure in life?
i never felt this way before, until yesterday.
in the past, no matter how bad things were,
i was sure i could pick myself up eventually.
but this time, i fell too hard.
i havent got over issues dated a few weeks ago,
and all this had to happen.
i tried to be strong and face everything at once,
but i just couldn't.
i have hit the pit bottom of one's life,
and i can't seem to get out of it.
everything that used to mean so much to me,
are pulled away one by one.
when i tried chasing them back,
another one would slip through my fingers.
it seems that i am alone in the battle.
what was never meant to be yours,
you will never get it, no matter how hard you try.
just like i wasn't suppose to be in volleyball,
but i went against fate and try to change it.
i wanted to show everyone and myself
i can be good at sports too.
but i guess we can't defy our fate.
actually i have rehersed the scene a million times in my head
and told myself to not have expectations,
but the amount of pain did not lessen.
i can't even tell my friend that
i was happy for her, because i didnt feel that way in me.
it disgust me that i was such a person.
just when i feel that i like the sport volleyball,
like the people in volleyball,
made people think that i can play a sport,
instead of only studying,
everything was taken away from me.
and to the person i care most in the entire world,
i dont know what has happened.
your aloof attitude have caused me to lose faith.
i dont know why you can treat other people so nicely,
and treat me the exact opposite way.
the change in you, made you a complete stranger to me.
i tried to make things work, but things seemed to be worse.
i miss you, but i was refering to the guy
that was my bestest friend in sec4.
this time,
i lost.
completely.
thus ruining my own life with my bare hands.
now i am really one my own.
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